This is the place to Flock someone

When is it a good time to flock someone? It is always a good time to flock someone; however, we've gone ahead and prepared a few suggestions below for the lazy flocker. In our opinion, the best way to flock Fort Bliss is to deliver the full mother flocking load to your unsuspecting friends and neighbors. If the full mother flocking load is too much flock for you to handle, we offer several other ways to flock people, we even deliver flocks from afar. One thing is for certain: size matters when you flock!

Reasons to flock someone up are: birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, graduations, new babies, new pets, as a welcome to the neighborhood, to farewell someone, to cheer someone up, to piss someone off, and just because you can.

It's flocking charity

All flocking proceeds go into our Community Giving fund. That's right, the flocking money will go back into the community through our community grant and merit-scholarship programs.  Now when you give a flock you can rest easy knowing it's a flocking fundraiser.

Finding a flock

If you see a flock, we have a few flock finding requests: 

  1. Pull over and get out of your car, point and laugh while shouting "They flocked you!" or "You are flocked!"
  2. Take a picture and upload it to social media. When someone is flocked, everyone has a right to know about it.
  3. Use these flocking hashtags on your social media posts: #thefbsaflamingoes and #thefbsaflockedyou

If you're flocked, please know that there are flocking rules.

  1. Do not kick, punch, damage, destroy, or remove the flock.
  2. Take flocking selfies and upload them to social media. You're flocked and everyone wants to see it.
  3. Plot you're revenge. Nothing says true friendship quite like waking up to the mother flocking load on your lawn.
  4. Use these flocking hashtags on your social media posts: #thefbsaflamingoes and #thefbsaflockedyou 

 


Flocking Range

Due to the safety, security, and wellbeing of the flock their wings have been clipped, thus limiting their migration patterns. Presently, flockings are only occurring on Fort Bliss proper: East and West main Fort Bliss. 

Windy Season

Please be advised that we are encroaching upon the windy season here in El Paso. Our flock is not equipped with enough body mass to withstand the less than gentle breezes that whip through the borderland. We cannot predict the winds and as such, the flock may have to adjust their migrating pattern by a day or two to the left or right of the scheduled day, or reduce their sunning time in the yard. We do our best to notify anyone impacted by weather in advance. For more information please email: idontgiveaflock@thefbsa.org


Have someone you want to flock?

Fill this form out (and pay) and we'll be happy to deliver a few flocks

The flocker (aka: you) *
The flocker (aka: you)
Phone *
Phone
Address *
Address
Who's flocked now? *
Who's flocked now?
When are you giving a flock? *
When are you giving a flock?
Flockers come in all shapes and sizes: individuals, groups, anonymously, etc.
What is the reason for the flocking?
Where shall we send the flock? *
Where shall we send the flock?
Checkbox *
Is there a dog on the premises? Our flockers do their best to be quiet; however, we take extra care when dogs are inside; many canines enjoy the taste of pink plastic poultry.

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Total

flocks given*:

35

 

*A flock is 10 flamingoes

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Still have questions?

Email the Mother Flocker at idontgiveaflock@thefbsa.org and she'll get back to you as soon as she's done tending to her precious pink flamingoes.